Traffic in Scarborough was brought to a halt after a minor earthquake on Tuesday evening. While the quake barely registered at a 1.8 magnitude, it was enough to open a massive sinkhole at the intersection of Eglinton Ave and Brimley Rd. A number of citizens claim to have seen a swarm of giant centipedes evacuate the hole, but city officials deny any possibility of an infestation.
“It’s just not possible”, insisted Marlene Stewart, speaking on behalf of the Public Works and Infrastructure Committee. “Insects do not feed on crushed rock and asphalt. We are investigating this occurrence to ensure the safety of all of New Toronto’s roads. I am certain that the final report will determine the cause to be a leaking water main in combination with a localized earthquake.”
Reports of an attack from underground were quickly dismissed by Ms. Stewart, who continued to explain that “any lights or explosions people may have seen or heard were undoubtedly due to a minor gas leak that was stopped by the quick action of a few brave citizens. While we greatly appreciate their willingness to risk all for the city, we cannot encourage people to rush headlong into danger. Please, leave public works to the professionals.”